Child’s Play

    I decided I wanted to see some fish.  I went to the Adventure Aquarium.  Utter disappointment had me demanding a refund.  But being a journalist and all, I’ll set an honest attempt at objectivity.

    Parking was $10.  We walked inside and the place smelled like a Chuck E. Cheese: baby ointment, disinfectants, and sweaty little kids.  Right away Rob and I were getting the feeling this place was geared towards little kids; I smacked my head in regret, I should have researched the place before spending the $22.00 I didn’t own on a ticket.

    I received my ticket with a countenance lacking assuredness and was ushered to a skinny, two foot wide escalator that bore my roommate and I up to the main floor.  The dilapidated escalator dropped us off into the food court which we walked through to reach the first of the “Adventure Zones.”

    The “Adventure Zones” went in order from zone A to zone D.  After zone D you are led directly into the gift shop which becomes a pocket-emptying obstacle course when leading wantful little kids through it.

    Don’t get me wrong, if you and your husband/wife are looking to get the kids out of the house for a couple hours, by all means, the Adventure Aquarium is a decent destination for your little family.  The Adventure Aquarium has plenty of attractions for the youngsters.  Petting tanks, playgrounds, games and presentations.

       But a list of my grievances:

1. Dead fish in the tanks
2. Complete lack of grandeur: stale carpeting and goofy giftshops
3. Too few viewing areas which were annoyingly small.
4. Too much paint on walls: not enough fish behind glass.
5. Cracked paint on the walls.
6. Signs don’t match the fish.
7. The fish don’t move because the tiny tanks permit them nowhere to swim.
8. Kids’ games are broken.
9. Too many little kids.